


The Result of a Drunk Phone Call

by MadKingV3rn0n



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Drunk Dialing, F/M, Mentions of alcoholism, Mild Language, POV Second Person, RT Podcast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadKingV3rn0n/pseuds/MadKingV3rn0n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You *really* need to stop calling people while you're drunk, especially when that person turns out to be Gus. Or maybe you should just stop drinking...</p><p>Joel/Reader, set in the second perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Result of a Drunk Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> What have I done?

“Why me?” That’s the only thing that your mind can come up with as you stare blankly at your newest email. The email was from Gus, a rarity in itself, and explained that whether you liked it or not that you would be on the RT Podcast that night. The email contained the topics of the night and was vaguely threatening as he mentioned that if you didn’t agree he may or may not retell the story of you drunk dialing him to talk (or rather drunkenly sob) about a certain giant. Or perhaps he could tell the original event that had led to the drunk sobbing. He noted that he wasn't sure which would be more embarrassing. He ends his email with a smiley face, that bastard. You send a quick response saying that of course you would _love_ to be on the podcast and that it wouldn’t be an inconvenience to you at all even though you have hours upon hours of footage to edit. As Gavin Free would say, “it would be top”.

You look down at your scratched wrist watch and notice that you only have a couple of hours before the podcast starts. Too little time to go home and change and yet too much time to just be sitting around waiting. You make the ultimate wise decision by deciding to bike to the nearest convenience store and buy proper supplies. You definitely were not going to be a guest on the podcast without the appropriate beverages. Armed with two tall cans of Heineken, a Red Bull, and a forty of malt liquor you make your way back to the office absolutely sure that you would be fine; or at least that you should be.

With only twenty minutes before the podcast is set to start, you make your way onto the podcast set and you take a deep breath as your sneaker-clad feet step onto its familiar red carpet. You’re not sure why you feel nervous, there isn’t much to doing the podcast. All you have to do is make a joke or two, listen to the others talk, and drink on; it’ll be just like every other day. You spare look down at your wardrobe and can’t resist the urge to groan. Today’s choice of clothes was a pair of Chuck Taylor’s, skinny jeans, and your infamous Cthulu sweater. A moment of awkwardness hits you as you remember that the last time you wore this particular sweater a certain giant that you may or may not have drunkenly sobbed to Gus about commented on it and smiled his ridiculous smile at you. God you hoped he wasn’t on the podcast tonight.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were going to be on the podcast tonight!”

The urge to groan was increased tenfold as Joel fucking Heyman walks onto the podcast set with his dorky grins and stupid fluffy hair. Of course he would be on tonight, why else would Gus force you? ‘There’s a special place in hell for you, Gus Sorola.’ you think darkly as you imagine his death at your own hands. Realizing you hadn’t yet respond you put on a fake smile and nod, “Yeah, first time too.”

“The first time’s always the best,” says Joel with a wink and you feel the tip of your ears heat up. Damn you Joel Heyman and your double entendre.

“That’s what they tell me,” you reply, your voice borderline cracking. You sound like a boy that hasn’t quite hit puberty, exactly the tone that you don’t want to have when talking to the man that you so constantly tried to impress. You avoid his eyes as you move to the left side of the couch and start to deposit your drinks on the table. You crack open the bottle of malt liquor and take a big drink hoping that the alcohol would calm your nerves, it doesn’t but you pretend that it does anyway.

Gus and Burnie make their way onto the set and begin to set up their respective spaces. Gus gives you a knowing smirk and you resist the urge to smack that look off of his face. You’re handed a microphone and you quickly clip it on the neck of your sweater. Your heart is racing as you sit down on the podcast couch. Even though there is a full couch cushion between yourself and Joel you still feel like you’re sitting too closely to him. If you could be in a completely different state you would still be too close. Maybe China would be far enough, maybe. This was going to be longest hour and a half of your life.

Burnie does the podcast intro this week and introduces you. You wave awkwardly and take another drink of your malt liquor. You’ve made quite a dent in the drink already, the bottle almost half gone, maybe you should slow down or something. Burnie begins to open the first discussion of the podcast but Joel interrupts him, “Before we start I would just like to point out the vast array of drinks that our young video editor has brought with her today.” Joel teased as he pointed to the little army of drinks near your side of the coffee table. He turned to Burnie, “Like look at this, this is just ridiculous.” He turns back to you, “Are you even old enough to drink?”

“I get thirsty,” you say with a shrug of your shoulders. “And yes, I’m old enough to drink, I’ve got the sideways license and everything.”

Joel shook his head in disagreement, “That’s not getting thirsty, that’s borderline alcoholism.”

Again, you shrug your shoulders, “Hey, the first step of recovery is admitting that you have a problem, not that I have a problem.”

“Someone’s in denial,” singsonged Joel while cracking open his own drink.

You’re about to give a retort when Gus rolls his eyes and says, “You two can return to your shitty attempts at flirting after the podcast is over but now we have more important things to talk about like the fact that Gavin is an absolute goddamn idiot.” Your cheeks heat up and if looks could kill the spot where Gus was sitting would cease to exist. The rest of the crew goes into a discussion that was the walking enigma of idiocy known as Gavin Free and you space out. Your mind decidedly wanders to the man on your left and your awkward encounters since you had started working at the company ten months ago. One specific awkward encounter in which you and Joel had had a little too much to drink (and by a little meaning 6 beers too many) came to mind.

The two of you ended up making out in the men’s bathroom in a bar on a “company outing” and Gus, much to his disgust, had caught the two of you on his way to take a piss. You wish you could say that you barely remembered it but you remember every moment of it. You remember the way he had pushed you up on the sink to have better access to your lips, the way you incessantly ran your fingers through his hair, and the way he roughly bit your neck; you had to wear a scarf for a week. After Gus had separated you two Joel had stumbled off to the bar and you had got into a cab and headed for home without another word to anyone. As far as you knew he didn’t remember a thing; you could only hope. Your mind continues to mull over your “drama” and you don’t realize how far you’ve spaced out until it’s too late.

“What do you think?”

You don’t realize this question was directed at you until it was too late. Gus, Burnie, and Joel are looking at you expectantly; what had they been talking about? You clear your throat awkwardly, “Sorry, I kind of blanked, what was the question?”

“Thrilling commentary from our newest hire,” mutters Burnie, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“We were talking about the lack of Bluetooth support for the PS4 and we wanted to know what you thought but if you would rather we leave you to your riveting thoughts…” Joel trailed off with a smirk and once again you feel your face heat up. Goddammit you are an embarrassment, get your shit under control.

“Oh yeah no, that shit sucks ass.” You point to the BTE hearing aids that are your constant companions, “These babies connect perfectly to my PS3 and I was so pissed when I found out that they wouldn’t connect with my PS4.” You had been furious when you found out that you couldn’t use your hearing aids as a headset like you had in the past and instead had to buy a bulky pair of over the ear headphones that had cost a fortune. It was a small price to pay, however, as it was your sole duty to constantly berate everyone you met in online matches in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare; they had to know how bad they were before they could improve, it’s a true fact.

“I didn’t know you could connect hearing aids to a PS3,” says Joel, his expression thoughtful. He looked adorable but you desperately attempt to avoid those thoughts.

You instead nod and sarcastically say, “As much as these damn things cost they better be able to.” The trio laughs and you mark “make a joke” off on your podcast to do list. Your list has now been completed, you made a joke, listened to the others (barely), and drank all while not pissing yourself in fear! Success. You cross your legs and accidentally hit Joel, when did he get so close? “Sorry,” you mutter, uncrossing your legs. It was then that you truly realized how close the two of you had gotten. What had started out as sitting as far apart from each other as possible while being on the same couch had ended up being practically on top of each other. You desperately want to move but you don’t want to make it awkward. Is there a non-awkward way of moving away in discomfort?

“Alright, let’s check the Twitter feed one more time before leaving,” says Burnie as he types away on his Mac. He lets out a laugh and for some reason you feel like he’s laughing at you, is he laughing at you? He looks right at you and then Joel and then laughs again, oh my god, he is laughing at you. “@yaboytesttubes “If Joel and intern girl get any closer they will become one.” He laughs again and harder, “@shuanofthepegg “The tension between Joel and new girl is enough to cut glass, like my nipples.” And this one is definitely my favorite, “@sunsofyams “Joel, calm your thirsty ass down, girl needs some space.”

Your face is on fire and you’re absolutely certain that Joel’s face must be ablaze as well, if it isn’t there’s obviously something wrong with him. You take this extremely awkward opportunity to make the situation even more awkward and force some space in between yourself and Joel. You don’t dare look at his face or Burnie’s and definitely not Gus’. Fuck him, fuck the fans, and fuck this podcast. On the bike ride home that night you were definitely taking a detour to the liquor store, again, and you were going to drink yourself into oblivion and be absolutely sure turn your damn phone off this time; hide it somewhere if you have to. Put it somewhere where your drunk and itchy fingers can’t reach it to call and cry to someone; your plan was golden. You turn down your hearing aids and wait it out, only a few more minutes now.

You barely hear Burnie give the customary sign off for the week or Gus doing the ads, you don’t hear anything but muffled voices saying words you don’t care about. You don’t care about anything else but the thought of being home under freshly washed sheets drinking vodka and watching Arrested Development. Joel awkwardly shakes your shoulder when the podcast is over and he’s motioning you to adjust the volume on your hearing aids. Do you really want to hear what he has to say? Deciding that what he says couldn’t be any worse than those tweets you adjust the volume again, “What?”

He seems even taller as he towers over you, the difference between 5,0” and 6,1” had never seemed so stark. His expression is awkward and his hand awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. He is unsure what to say and you are unsure of what he could say. “I just wanted to…apologize for all of that,” he gestures wildly to the podcast set. “I wish I could say that the fans aren’t always like that but they kind of are.” He opens his mouth as to say something else and then he shuts his mouth again; you briefly wonder what he was going to say.

You shrug, “It’s not your fault.” and it wasn’t, not really. You did wonder, however, how the two of you had gotten so close on that couch; did he move or did you? Was the movement subconscious or did he have a plan? Joel didn’t seem like the scheming type but knowing a person for ten months wasn’t really a clear indication. You pick up your cans and bottles and throw them away in the nearby trashcan before turning back to Joel; you don’t meet his eyes. “Look, I’m tired so I’m just going to go home, I’ll see you later.”

You turn to walk away but he stops you by saying, “I remember what happened that night.” You freeze. He doesn’t have to specify which night, you alright know exactly what he’s talking about. Had he read your mind during the podcast? You could definitely peg him for a mind reader.

You don’t turn around to face him and mutter, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You can tell that he rolls his eyes as he gives an exasperated sigh, “Yes you do, I can tell when you look at me you think about it.” Well, it looks like that you have to look for another job in another country, congratulations. You’re about to tell him to go to hell when he quietly says, “I think about it too, a lot. I think about you a lot.”

Well, that was certainly a game changer.

You turn around to face him and he’s looking down at his giant sneakers. You always laughed when you thought of how different your heights truly were, he was a giant compared to you, a giant that had completely stolen your heart. You sighed, you were getting too old for all of this emotion shit. “I-I don’t know what to say,” you muttered and you really didn’t. It’s like getting exactly what you wanted for your birthday, you were unsure of how to respond and you flailed about awkwardly until you found the correct way of expressing your feelings.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same.”

Whoa now, you were talking about feelings now? Back that train up. A laugh escapes you and Joel looks at you oddly. You sober up quickly and say, “This is definitely not what I was expecting.” You move closer to him and squint at him in deep thought, he looks down at you uncertainly. “You’re not fucking with me, are you? Gus didn’t put you up to this did he?" You knew Gus was a professional man (the majority of the time) but you could definitely see him putting Joel up to this for waking him up in the middle of the night. He was a man of revenge, after all. 

Joel looks honestly confused, “What does Gus have to do with this?”

“Okay good.” You pull him down to your height by the front of his oversized hoodie and press your lips to his. You’re absolutely positive that you taste like alcohol and you’re happy to say that he tastes the same.

When you finally pull apart breathlessly, Joel grinning at you with that unmovable smile, you’re absolutely positive that you hear Gus mutter a “finally” and something along the lines of “if she calls me again I’m having her fired”. Well said Gus, well said.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. 
> 
> The Cthulu sweater mentioned is this: http://middleofbeyond.com/products/cthulhu


End file.
